What to Eat during a Near-Death Experience

The last day I had as a 23-year-old, I attempted a summit climb of New Plymouth's volcano, Mt. Taranaki. It's important to prepare for a big climb. But I did not. I haven't hiked anything in about a decade. I got lost in a cloud, fell down a cliff, lost my hat (found it again!), and fell asleep with drool on my face in a public place. I DID, however, pack an excellent lunch. Hurrah for being raised in the Midwest, where everything is FLAT.

WHAT TO EAT if you're going to be UNDERPREPARED in EVERY OTHER REGARD on a CLIMB:
1 generous helping of pasta, loaded with seasonal veggies, a portion of cheese, olive oil&lightly salted
2 apples
1 spare sandwich of spinach, tomato and cheddar
1 helping cashews from your thoughtful sister as a birthday gift
1 handy chocolate bar
1/2 handful of butterscotch candies to give away to fellow hikers so they don't forget you if and when you get lost



In all regards besides the cumulative 20minutes where I was sure I was a goner, the mountain was beautiful. More beautiful, however, is the sensation of eating a proper dose of carbohydrates when throughly exhuasted halfway up a steep and ashy landscape, overlooking the sea and sky, and feeling your blood rush with sudden energy as your body digests a proper lunch. Mm'm mmm good!

Maori Feast in Rotorua

I spent about 18 hours in the city of Rotorua. I was able to cram in a visit to a geothermic public park full of smoking mud craters, bike to and hike through a redwood forest, and eat with the Mitai family, a Rotoruan Maori tribe who make a mean Hangi.

This Hangi was made to cater to about 100 visitors, but this "barbeque in a pit" cooking style can be found family-sized at:
http://www.shelfordfeast.co.uk/hangi.html and I highly recommend it. My vegetarian version included soft, smokey kumera (a white-fleshed sort of sweet pototato), as well as a stuffing made with poisonous orange berries, the toxins removed by the 24 hour subterranian cooking process. I'm told a lot of Hangi are made well on the beach and include fish; I liked the tubers in mine and can only imagine the delicious possibilities of stacks of parsnips, carrots, potatoes and onions.

Good Day from Flaxmill Bay

Every morning I wake up to this. Compounding my fortune is the abundance of FEIJOA, a funny little fruit that grows all over (local! fresh!) and is closely related (unproven but rumored) to the New Zealand "Christmas Tree", the Pohutukawa (poe hoo tu kawa). The feijoa fruit, which I can only describe as "passion-fruity" and "round and green", can be made into an excellent (if super-sweet) liquor, juice or dessert sauce. At Eggcentric Cafe, it's paired as a sauce on apricot-and-pumpkin-seed-topped carrot cake.

Funny Flowers

With plants as pretty as these, it's with regret that I have to announce none of them are edible. The pitcher plants, however, will eat YOU.

The strange one at the top (not my hand, the plant) is known as either monkey or kangaroo's tail. Earlier today, at a winery, I was told by the proprietor that the kangaroo derives its name from the inquiry "wot's that orange-colored rodent?"and the Aboriginal reply to the English-speaker, "Que? Can't hear you." Say that once fast and you'll figure it out. I don't think it's a true story, do you?

Orange Honey Almond Sauce

If the name doesn't sell you, let me fill you in a bit on bees. New Zealand and Australia, until recently, were the only two countries on the planet unaffected by a mite blight that has been striking (and snacking on) bee populations, wild and tamed. Alas, NZ's North, and now South, Islands were invaded. In a globally unprecedented action, South Island retaliated by moving their apiaries (boxes full of kept bees) up to North Island, allowing the predator insects to gnosh on the wild bee population until it there were none. Then the bad guys, starving to death, would either flee South Island or perish, making it safe to return the bee boxes back.

Honey in NZ is mainly Manuka, which is a rich and different (thicker, rougher, darker) flavor than our windsome little American wildflower make. So when I say "Make this orange honey almond sauce!" my recipe advice is to support NZ in these troubled buzzy times and try a midgen of manuka. (What the hell is a midgen? It's a bit more than a smidgen.)

If this recipe seems overwhelming (Saffron threads! Sherry vinegar!), don't worry. Sliced oranges with almonds and honey are great on top of salads, ice cream, yogurt or just together as friends in your mouth. You don't HAVE to make this whole dish. But Gold Star for You if you do. It's not a local meal, but it sure does make winter (yours, not mine!) snow taste sweeter.

Now here is a flower that comes from a tree near my "bach"(holiday home): will it get pollinated by bees, or will it be last of its kind? The drama never stops in NZ.

Orange Honey Almond Sauce
Preheat your oven to 400*F.

Meanwhile, in a large pan over medium high heat, fry 'til golden:
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, finely chopped

Push onions aside. Fry until savory;
2 garlic cloves
1 red chilli, deseeded and chopped
2 cinnamon sticks

Mix onions back in. Lower heat slightly, and add to pan until carmelized (1-2 minutes):
2 tablespoons h

Eggcentric Cafe, Flaxmill Bay

The past week I've been living and working in Flaxmill Bay, about 10 minutes (and a ferry ride) from Whitianga, in the Coromandel Peninsula of New Zealand. Dave and Denise, owners and head chefs of Eggcentric Cafe, have been my kind hosts--esp. with regards to Dave's kindnesses in sharing his recipes and expertise in making a delicious, creative menu. Every customer that leaves the place has (minimum) two positive adjectives to match their thank-you! This picture shows Dave's "Full Monty"--a brunch option featuring a split fried sausage that he says is awesome second only to a whale's tail rising out of the sea at sunset. Hey, he said it.
Peanut Chut

An example of Dave's kitchen genius at work is his use of this excellent chutney recipe. Derived from Tom Kline's Exploring Taste and Flavor, is an excellent side dip. Dave reckons the reason everyone loves it with his chicken is because it has a series of complex flavors--sweet and savory, salty and tangy--everything that makes your tongue say "woo hoo". I just like pounding it out with a mortar and pestle. If you have the patience, you won't be sorry to have this hanging out in your fridge for quick snackin'.

Over medium-high heat, fry up:
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 red chilli, deseeded and minced
3 coriander (cilantro) roots or the bottom of the stem

Add and cook 3-4 minutes (until carmalized)
4 chopped shallots
4 tablespoons sugar
(if it's burning, add a little dash of water)

Add 2 tablespoons blanched peanuts, as well as water to dilute.
Remove from heat. In small batches, crush with a mortar and pestle.
To your mash, add:
1 tablespoon seasame oil
1 tablespoon light soy sauce
Juice of 1 lime

Garnish with 20 coriander leaves.
Dilute with water if necessary.

Kiwi for Lunch

Here's a simple salad from the menu of Eggecentric Cafe, my short-term home in Flaxmill Bay, New Zealand. Kiwis, also known as Chinese Gooseberries, had a name-change in the 1950s or '60s, when they became a big export in NZ. Since the small, brown flightless bird icon already had the name, they figured a small, brown, flightless fruit could share it as well. I think that's what happened, anyway.

Kiwi Salad
You will need (to make 2-3 salads):
1 sweet potato, peeled, sliced and thinly shredded with a peeler
1 kiwi fruit, cut bite-sized
1 small red onion, ringed and sliced
Mixed baby greens
balsamic vinegar or dressing to your taste

In a pan with oil to fry, crisp up the shredded sweet potato. They should be ribbon-thin. When throughly browned up and crunchy, prepare your washed, tossed greens, decorating with fresh onion rings and kiwi bites. Drizzle dressing. Top with ribbony, crunchy mess of sweet potato.